Welcome to OverheardInCourt.com! We chronicle the often hilarious world of courtroom antics for everyone's enjoyment. Did you hear something funny while you were in court or elsewhere traversing the legal world? Take a few moments and share a laugh with us! Enjoy others experiences and please post your own; also feel free to contact us with comments, accolades or criticisms.
Defense Counsel:
“Are you a member of any professional organizations?”
Defense “Expert”:
“Yes, the American Society of Crime Lab Directors, ASSGLAD. (I think he meant ASGLABD).”
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Amused Observer
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Another tale from the Sheriff’s Office. The names have, of course, been changed to protect the guilty…
“Eddie,” a fellow in his mid 20s had been brought in drunk and VERY disorderly (I think it started as a domestic violence thing). Despite being in handcuffs, he broke free and took off running. It took us a half a block to catch up to him. Then, he went limp as a dishrag and we had to carry him back. But once in the cell block, he came to life, backed into a corner and kicked violently at anyone who came near him. We couldn’t get the handcuffs off of him.
I had jail duty that night and I wasn’t sure I wanted him in my jail, thinking he would be better off up at the “funny farm.” I phoned the Sheriff with my concerns and he told me to call the County Medical Officer and see what he thought.
The doctor showed up about fifteen minutes later. I escorted him up into the cell block. The exchange went like this:
Eddie: Who are you?
Dr.: I’m Doctor “Smith.”
Eddie: Where are you from?
Dr.: (A small town about ten miles from the jail.)
Eddie: I never heard of you.
Dr.: That’s OK, lots of people have never heard of me.
Eddie: I don’t believe you are a doctor. How long have you been a doctor?
Dr.: Thirty-five years.
Eddie: Even if you are a doctor, I don’t trust you.
Dr.: It don’t much matter to me whether you trust me or not.
Eddie: I only met one doctor in my life I trusted. That was in Viet-Nam. He was a witch doctor.
Eddie then looked at the doctor appraisingly and added, “Maybe if you put on a mask and started jumping up and down, I’d trust you too!”
Back in the office, the doctor said, “He ain’t crazy; he’s just having a good time.”
I asked about the handcuffs and the doctor told me he’d been careful to get a good look at Eddie’s fingernails and that his circulation appeared to be unaffected, adding, “When he gets sick of them, he’ll let you take them off.”
About six hours later, he asked for the cuffs to be removed. To round out the story, the judge sentenced him to fifteen days in jail for disorderly conduct. Eddie was always polite and co-operative, except for one little detail. He refused to dress and insisted in doing his time totally naked.
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Jerry Foster
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Q. Were the children in the house when the police were searching it?
A. No. They were in the car. Everything was in the car.
They were in a car, and the police was in — apparently the police went in the home and, you know.
And then the children saw the police going in the home looking for Cesar. And they assumed that Cesar had left through the window because he often leaves through the window.
So now — you know, in normal families people don’t leave through the windows. They usually use doors.
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Wynne A. Pauly
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